To Believe
by underarrest39
Summary: slight DRR. first x-files fic. John has always struggled to believe.


**A/N: ****My first X Files fanfic. I have been reading X Files fanfic for a long time (since the movie came out last year). Now I have finally written one. It has been hard trying to write one because there's so many. But hey, first stab at a slight DRR fic, I hope its okay. **

**Spoilers:**** Audrey Pauley (mostly) **

**Disclaimer: ****Chris Carter owns these characters. If I did I would've went for another season just so we could show more of Doggett and Reyes. **

**To Believe **

"How can you say those things when we investigate them everyday?" I asked John Doggett for second time that morning. We were having another argument again. It was only eight o'clock in the morning and already had three fights. For three different things, DD Kersh, Brad Follmer and now our beliefs.

"It just doesn't seem supernatural to me, I think it was the two men that did this to those people in their house," he responded. "We have their confessions, case closed."

"But that was by force how you got those confessions," I reminded him, angrily.

"How much would it take you to believe John?" I asked, suddenly. He gave stared at me, like waiting for me to add on more.

"Has much as you believe Monica, I don't believe any of it whatever, there's always one logical explanation," John replied.

Although I have an open mind on many things, my partner for not nearly a year yet still hadn't wanted to believe what we have been seeing. Although I had a feeling he does believe it happens but he doesn't want to accept it.

"Don't you think believing is seeing or seeing is believing?"

"I think people believe what they want to see,"

"So are saying I believe what I want to see?"

"Yeah I am."

"That's not fair," I said, shaking my head.

"It doesn't have to be fair Monica," John sighed.

"But it doesn't have to be right either," I rolled my eyes.

"Don't say that."

"No, I see what you mean. You think that people believe in the paranormal to make excuses for their actions, like Luke's killer for instance," I said, knowing that it would get to him; his son's murder has been a burden on his shoulders for many years.

"Don't go there, Monica," John warned me, angrily.

"Hit a nerve?" I couldn't just keep my big mouth shut.

"Monica," he said firmly, reminded me of a teacher I used to hate in high school. He never thought I was listening to what he was saying or didn't care what I thought in the classroom. I ended up just didn't speak in the classroom for the rest of that year.

"Look John," I said, calmly, before I started to get pissed off with him. "That's what you're saying." I tried to say it warmly but my mouth just didn't want to do what I wanted.

"No, I'm saying that I don't believe in the supernatural or whatever you call it. There are no such this as demons, ghosts, vampires and all that crap," he said, throwing his folders down hard and started to pack away paperwork he was working on.

"John," I tried to say but he put up his hand to silence me. In silence he went out and closed the door hard.

I sat my desk feeling awful and stupid for going to far. Maybe I should have thought before I spoke. It seemed like every case we ended up having the same argument and every case someone would walk out on one or the other. Although I've known John for a long time it doesn't seem to amaze me that nothing has made him believe in the cases he works on.

I waited for another five minutes before I tried to find Doggett. I was praying he went to A.D Skinner instead of completely walking out. I went to Skinner's office to find the assistant talking to someone else so I sneaked past without her realizing and got in.

"Agent Reyes, what are you doing here?" I heard Skinner asked. I looked he had company with him, who looked like the CIA.

"Sorry," I quickly said and closed the door before I embarrassed myself even more. _Damn it_, I thought, angrily. I decided to go back the basement and get my possessions and see if John was home.

While I waited for the elevator I dialed John's number. It rang six times before it went to voice mail.

"Hey, John. Its me, I'm sorry for what I said. I was completely out of line. I shouldn't have said any of that I do have respect for your opinion in every possible way. Please call em when you get this," I said quickly as the elevator door finally opened. I pressed the Car Park button and waited until the elevator opened again to reveal the car park I walked to my car, trying to figure out where John would have gone to.

As I saw my car in view I realized I saw someone waiting for me. My heart skipped a beat and realized it was John.

"John," I called out. He didn't move from where he was standing. I walked up to him, he was staring at the ground. "John," I said softly, hoping he would look at me in the eye. I slowly walked up to him and reached out and touched his shoulder. This time he looked up at me, his eyes full of tears. A tear escaped his eye and ran down his cheek. I softly wiped it away with my finger.

"John," I said again, so softly I could barely hear it myself.

"Please, Monica," John said.

"Please, what John?" I hesitated, not knowing what he was talking about. I looked into his eyes and I saw the ghost of his past in his eyes. I could see his sons face looking back at me. I saw the first day we met. I saw the struggle of John's beliefs in his eyes and the way he could just brush off anything paranormal in the cases we have worked on.

"I'm sorry, John," I said to him. He nodded to me and we hugged. I could feel his tighten his arms around me. I felt horrible that I had hurt John; it was like hurting an innocent dog, a loyal friend who you could always count on. Even though we may different views about certain things, he could always come to the conclusion of knowing the truth, putting away people who deserved it.

Maybe that was all I could get to John to believe in. The truth will be out there.


End file.
